“Ma’am, which anti-aging cream do you use?” — the lady at the salon asked.
That question not only peeped into my life but also shook me to my core!
I am sure most women, especially those crossing their 40s — and nowadays even their 30s — will relate to this. It’s the age where wrinkles are seen as flaws and greys become a reason for loss of confidence.
I was in search of a topic for my new blog, and this very conversation gave me the opportunity to explore a subject that is not only ‘loved’ by the industries of medicine, cosmetology, show business, and modeling, but also deeply affects our daily lives — especially women’s lives.
In my case, I gave the lady in the salon a not-so-pleasant smile and said, “I accept myself the way I am.”
But the moment I stepped out, I came face to face with myself — and wondered, Really? Do I truly accept myself fully?
If yes, then why did that question pinch me?
When I looked around, many questions arose in my mind:
Why is there a need for filters in cameras?
Why do anti-aging treatments exist?
Why is the anti-aging cosmetics industry not just thriving but becoming one of the biggest industries in the world?
Why do I see my once-confident friends from school and college disappearing from social media?
Why do women become awkward about being clicked?
Why are gyms empty but parlors full?
Why are fruit shops empty but medical stores full?
This “anti-aging” drive is certainly filling the pockets of industry people, but it is robbing us of our happiness — very surreptitiously.
The Hidden Costs of Anti-Aging
- DISTORTED SELF-IMAGE – Constant exposure to the so-called ‘youth ideal’ in advertisements and social media makes people equate beauty with youth. Wrinkles and greys start to trigger anxiety or shame. (I have treated people for panic attacks triggered by the appearance of a single grey hair!) This creates immense pressure to look young instead of being healthy.
- CONSUMERISM – The anti-aging industry feeds on the fears and insecurities of consumers. It constantly offers new products — anti-aging creams, collagen drinks, botox, hormone therapies — and people keep spending enormous amounts of money on appearance, not health. The focus shifts away from genuine self-care and mental well-being.
- COMPARISON – Midlife becomes a battleground of comparison: “I don’t look as young as she does,” or “He looks fitter than me at 40!” Such comparisons lead to constant dissatisfaction with oneself. The so-called influencers add to this pressure with unreal content. Instead of celebrating growth and maturity, people live in quiet competition and discontent.
- DISCONNECTION FROM THE BODY’S NATURAL CYCLE – Aging is a natural transition, yet people now view it as malfunctioning. Instead of listening to their bodies — to rest, slow down, or nourish differently — they override natural cues with medicines, stimulants, and surgeries. The result: more burnout, more fatigue, and less peace with one’s own physiology.
- EMOTIONAL DETACHMENT FROM AGING LOVED ONES – The wisdom and calm that older generations bring are overshadowed by society’s obsession with speed and aesthetics. This leads to emotional distancing from elders, reduced empathy, and ultimately, loss of intergenerational bonding.
- FEAR OF TIME – Many people view birthdays with dread instead of gratitude. Time becomes the enemy. Fear of aging drains the joy from living in the present.
- LOSS OF AUTHENTICITY – People begin masking the signs of aging through makeup, treatments, and filters until their outer image no longer matches their inner reality. They keep performing youth instead of embracing authenticity.
Is Anti-Aging… Anti-Life?
If aging is a natural process of life, isn’t “anti-aging” essentially anti-life?
I am not against self-care — I am against denial of self.
I am not against pushing your limits — I am against going anti-life!
Aging is a natural rhythm of life.
Birth → Growth → Decay → Renewal — this is the cycle Mother Nature follows.
Aging allows space for new generations, new ideas, and evolution.
To resist aging is to resist the natural rhythm of life.
The Deeper Roots of the Anti-Aging Obsession
This obsession stems from fear — fear of death, fear of the unknown, and ultimately, fear of loss — especially the loss of control. Ironically, this fear of the future prevents us from living in the present.
True vitality comes from embracing impermanence, not denying it.
We all live under the illusion of control — in reality, there is hardly anything truly in our control.
Releasing the need to control frees us from the slavery of our own minds.
From a biological perspective, every cell has a designed lifespan, and programmed cell death (apoptosis) is essential for growth and health. Attempting to stop aging entirely would mean halting renewal itself.
From a spiritual perspective, aging represents the evolution of the soul. Life is not meant to be extended indefinitely but deepened consciously.
The pursuit of anti-aging disconnects us from the purpose of aging — wisdom, acceptance, and surrender.
From Anti-Aging to Pro-Aging
By now, many of you might feel uncomfortable or even angry — and if you do, it means I’ve struck the right chord. You’re sensing some truth in what I’m saying, and that’s good — it means you’re contemplating acceptance.
You may ask, What’s the alternative then?
The healthier alternative is PRO-AGING!
Caring for the body, mind, and spirit — to age gracefully, not fearfully.
Living in alignment with your body’s rhythm — not in denial of it.
Shifting from anti-aging to vital living.
The Pillars of Pro-Aging
- WHAT IS PRO-AGING – Pro-aging doesn’t mean giving up on health or beauty; it means redefining them. It’s not about trying to look like your past version but being your best at every stage of life. It’s about nurturing vitality, not chasing youth.
- ACCEPTANCE AS STRENGTH – Pro-aging is about unconditional self-acceptance — not resignation. You grow through time, so take wrinkles as signs of experience and greys as badges of wisdom.
- HEALTH OVER ILLUSION – Anti-aging sells the illusion of youth. Pro-aging promotes sustainable growth, rest, balance, and health. You must decide: Do you want to look young and be unhealthy, or feel healthy regardless of age?
Pro-aging shifts the focus from how you look to how you feel. Makeup is fine — but are you using it to hide flaws or to enhance beauty? - FREEDOM FROM FEAR – You free yourself from the marketing of fear. You stop fighting your age and conserve your vital energy to live fully. You eat for nourishment, not punishment; you exercise for strength, not aesthetics. Imagine the freedom from this biggest illusion!
- CELEBRATION OF EACH PHASE – Every decade has its own flavor. When you stop fighting aging, you begin to pause and celebrate the phase you’re in. Pro-aging means being grateful for the gift of life — not brooding over something impermanent like age.
- A SPIRITUAL SHIFT – Spiritually, pro-aging honors the flow of life, recognizing that life’s purpose is not to remain unchanged but to transform. It’s about aligning with the divine rhythm of creation and destruction — knowing that creation can only happen after destruction.
- THE TRUE GLOW – The most radiant people aren’t those who hide their age, but those who embody all its changes. That glow can’t be injected — it comes from within, from living each phase of life fully and joyfully
Thus, pro-aging is saying yes —
Yes to the present moment.
Yes to your evolving self.
Yes to the dance of life.
Yes to every wrinkle and every grey!
It’s not about adding years to your life —but adding life to your years!!!
© Dr. Sonal Wagh Varma
Homoeopath | Pain Relief Consultant | Reiki Healer | EFT Practitioner | Akashic Healer
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